Some of my favourite lines from the funniest robot in the universe:
Hey, what kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker!
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Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The 'x' makes it sound cool.
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The human race can bite my shiny metal ass!
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Oh your God!
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Fry: Why would a robot need to drink?
Bender: I don't need to drink. I can quit anytime I want!
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Today I've personalised your meals. For example Amy, you're cute, so I cooked you a pony.
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God: Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you; and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.
Bender: Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money.
God: Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
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(chatting up a girl)
Is heaven missing an angel? Because you've got nice cans!
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Hey, what's this fat ugly thing? A frog? A toad? Or yo mama?
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Bender: I'm dying, I need mouth to ass recusitation.
Fry: I'm on it... it's not working!
Bender: haha, I die happy knowing you fell for that.
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I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
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She is well travelled... and I don't mean she travels a lot.
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This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!
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Okay kids, it's nine o'clock and you know what that means; Daddy's sick of looking at you!
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Orphan: Daddy Bender, we're hungry.
Bender: What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food... Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.
Orphan: Can we have Bender Burgers again?
Bender: No! The cat shelter's on to me.
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Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
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Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.
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I'm gonna build my own amusement park. But with gambling and hookers! Ah, forget the amusement park.
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Life is hilariously cruel.
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Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny.
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There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse. I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with this purse I found.
I have never heard of this but that doesn't really surprise me because I don't watch too many comedies. Is it a movie? It sounds pretty funny :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a TV series, and also 4 movies based on it, from the same guy who created The Simpsons :)
ReplyDeletei found a picture of george bush in this post
ReplyDelete